Revenge of the Sith (the review from May '05)
So, here I was sitting in a fairly packed Loews multiplex theatre, a cold Budweiser in my hand, and I was contemplating life - then for a moment things stopped, the world around me didn't matter; and for the first time in my life I let the nerd in me show. Star Wars III: Return of the Sith's opening montage - similar to that of the last five films, ran vertically down the screen - I got goosebumps - and I don't know why.
My entire life, I've sworn to only like the first three films, Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. Sure, I personally don't enjoy the company of an Ewok Party, but...whatever. Sith comes on with a wicked battle scene, Anakin's all over the fucking place shooting things, things are getting attached to Obi-Wan's cruiser and R2-D2 is beeping up a mother fucking storm. They're on their way to rescue the Senator from Dooku and...inevitably murder him. Anakin's becoming darker scene by scene.
However, after watching the first three movies, you come to believe that Darth Vader is the crown -mother fucking- prince of Evil...after watching this movie you feel for the guy, you feel for a guy who gets burnt the hell up and after all that happens to him, the thing he wanted; doesn't fucking happen. Boo Fucking Hoo, right? This guy chopped off Luke's hand, then says that he's his father...pulls of his fucking mast to show a disheveled looking mother fucker with the voice of James Earl Jones....Empire did have the better ended, it had a lot of shit going on, Hans getting frozen - etc.
However...this movie, this Revenge of the Sith flick was something that I unexpectedly enjoyed the hell out of. I went to the movie expecting dissapointment as the last two prequels did just that - dissapointed me. Sith, however, didn't. It was one of those things, like ..."Now, I can go on with my life" the Star Wars universe has finally been completed, Vader is mad, Luke and Leia are born, Obi-Wan and Yoda go into Exile while Organa takes Leia..
Then there's Skywalker, Luke mother fucking Skywalker, sure, we know Luke and Han pine over Leia until Luke finds out a trivial fact, that Leia is his sibling...and an annoying one at that. Luke is going to be the best Jedi ever, just like his father - whom he doesn't know, but helping the Jedi defeat Vader is something he's going to do...then the pivotal scene in which Vader pulls off his lid to reveal a crusty old version of Anakin Skywalker, aka Lord Darth Vader ...complete with the burn marks given to him via Revenge of the Sith - care of Obi-Wan.
Back to Sith though, because I'm straying off topic slightly...Sith is the Godfather II of the Star Wars universe - it's almost that good, there's some things I'd want to see more of, like C3-PO and R2D2...As I told Marcel, Everyone has a friend like R2D2...Worried, afraid, but clutch under pressure. He beeps a lot, and apparently someone understands him, like C3-PO, so they have to be together, rather than on seperate ends of the spectrum. It's similar to that of Chewbacca's relationship with Han Solo - who the fuck knows what that damn Wookie is saying, but Han? No one, he could be saying we're all going to die in a matter of minutes, but no one cares, we just want to hear that Wookie bastard moan his glorious language - Speaking of Wookie's, there's some in Sith namely Chewy, who's in it for a brief period and shares screentime with Yoda.
In Clerk's Dante says that all Jedi had was a bunch of muppets, that Empire had the better ending, well, I agree, but then you have to look at Sith. Sith was dark as hell, it was evil even, kids are killed by the Darkside, under-water battles...shit man, the movie had everything, but tits, if it had tits it would've been a ten, but since it didn't...hell it's a nine point five.
This was something I wrote a long while ago, and I suppose put on my Xanga.com/blanklyput site. I don't remember, but I enjoyed reading it again, so I decided I'd post it. You'll get the other story as soon as I fucking...locate it.
JD
My entire life, I've sworn to only like the first three films, Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. Sure, I personally don't enjoy the company of an Ewok Party, but...whatever. Sith comes on with a wicked battle scene, Anakin's all over the fucking place shooting things, things are getting attached to Obi-Wan's cruiser and R2-D2 is beeping up a mother fucking storm. They're on their way to rescue the Senator from Dooku and...inevitably murder him. Anakin's becoming darker scene by scene.
However, after watching the first three movies, you come to believe that Darth Vader is the crown -mother fucking- prince of Evil...after watching this movie you feel for the guy, you feel for a guy who gets burnt the hell up and after all that happens to him, the thing he wanted; doesn't fucking happen. Boo Fucking Hoo, right? This guy chopped off Luke's hand, then says that he's his father...pulls of his fucking mast to show a disheveled looking mother fucker with the voice of James Earl Jones....Empire did have the better ended, it had a lot of shit going on, Hans getting frozen - etc.
However...this movie, this Revenge of the Sith flick was something that I unexpectedly enjoyed the hell out of. I went to the movie expecting dissapointment as the last two prequels did just that - dissapointed me. Sith, however, didn't. It was one of those things, like ..."Now, I can go on with my life" the Star Wars universe has finally been completed, Vader is mad, Luke and Leia are born, Obi-Wan and Yoda go into Exile while Organa takes Leia..
Then there's Skywalker, Luke mother fucking Skywalker, sure, we know Luke and Han pine over Leia until Luke finds out a trivial fact, that Leia is his sibling...and an annoying one at that. Luke is going to be the best Jedi ever, just like his father - whom he doesn't know, but helping the Jedi defeat Vader is something he's going to do...then the pivotal scene in which Vader pulls off his lid to reveal a crusty old version of Anakin Skywalker, aka Lord Darth Vader ...complete with the burn marks given to him via Revenge of the Sith - care of Obi-Wan.
Back to Sith though, because I'm straying off topic slightly...Sith is the Godfather II of the Star Wars universe - it's almost that good, there's some things I'd want to see more of, like C3-PO and R2D2...As I told Marcel, Everyone has a friend like R2D2...Worried, afraid, but clutch under pressure. He beeps a lot, and apparently someone understands him, like C3-PO, so they have to be together, rather than on seperate ends of the spectrum. It's similar to that of Chewbacca's relationship with Han Solo - who the fuck knows what that damn Wookie is saying, but Han? No one, he could be saying we're all going to die in a matter of minutes, but no one cares, we just want to hear that Wookie bastard moan his glorious language - Speaking of Wookie's, there's some in Sith namely Chewy, who's in it for a brief period and shares screentime with Yoda.
In Clerk's Dante says that all Jedi had was a bunch of muppets, that Empire had the better ending, well, I agree, but then you have to look at Sith. Sith was dark as hell, it was evil even, kids are killed by the Darkside, under-water battles...shit man, the movie had everything, but tits, if it had tits it would've been a ten, but since it didn't...hell it's a nine point five.
This was something I wrote a long while ago, and I suppose put on my Xanga.com/blanklyput site. I don't remember, but I enjoyed reading it again, so I decided I'd post it. You'll get the other story as soon as I fucking...locate it.
JD
posted by JD at 10:03 PM
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